The Paradox of Power: 6 Uncomfortable Truths of Effective Leadership

1. Introduction: The Unspoken Reality of Leadership

The desire for a leadership role is common, often driven by the allure of power, prestige, and autonomy. We see the corner office and the title but rarely the true cost. This conventional view, however, masks a more challenging reality: real leadership is hard, demanding selfless service. The alternative to selfish “leadership” is servant leadership, and its path is uncomfortable, humbling, and counter-intuitive.

This article explores the most surprising lessons from Miles Anthony Smith’s Why Leadership Sucks. It promises takeaways that challenge conventional wisdom and reveal the demanding, uncomfortable, and ultimately more rewarding path of the servant leader.

2. The Counter-Intuitive Truths of Real Leadership

2.1. Leadership Isn’t a Popularity Contest—It’s an Invitation to Be Disliked

Effective leaders must accept that some of their decisions will be unpopular. The attempt to be everyone’s friend is a “futile and selfish effort” that sacrifices the long-term good of the organization for short-term emotional gain. This pursuit of approval guarantees long-term failure because it allows true accountability to wither.

This is a difficult truth because many of us are conditioned to seek approval from a young age. As we progress through school, we do things to get others to accept us, and as Smith notes, we often “carry those bad habits into the workplace.” To deliberately make a choice that will be disliked feels unnatural, yet prioritizing the health of the organization over personal popularity is one of the first and most critical sacrifices a true leader makes.

If we go into management to earn more, have more power/prestige, and work less, we are either naïve or ignorant.

2.2. Your Biggest Frustration Is Actually Your Job—Embrace the Interruptions

The daily interruptions from team members are not distractions that keep a leader from their work; they are the work itself. Leaders who treat these moments as annoyances miss the point. Interruptions are incredibly valuable opportunities to get information from the front lines and provide essential direction and counsel.

Smith uses a powerful military analogy to drive this point home: “When a soldier comes to the commander and says, ‘Sir, we are running out of ammunition,’ a good leader doesn’t say, ‘I’m too busy right now; come back later.’ That would be absurd.” Viewing interruptions through this lens—as mission-critical communications—requires a fundamental shift from a task-oriented mindset to a people-oriented one. This shift in perspective from tasks to people requires a re-evaluation of other traditional metrics of success—like employee turnover.

If you’re a leader, interruptions aren’t what keep you from your work; the interruptions are your work.

2.3. The Goal Isn’t Zero Turnover—It’s Healthy Turnover

Contrary to popular belief, an “absence of turnover isn’t the goal.” While excessive turnover is a clear sign of problems, having too little can be just as damaging to an organization. Stagnation can set in when there is no infusion of new perspectives. Healthy, moderate turnover “allows new blood and ideas to enter the group.”

This is a surprising argument because leaders are so often judged by their retention rates. But accepting that some departures are beneficial requires a difficult change in behavior. Leaders must learn not to take departures personally and, most counter-intuitively, should not “try to entice someone to stay.” Offering more money to a departing employee rarely addresses the real reasons they want to leave and only postpones the inevitable.

2.4. Authenticity Isn’t “Being Yourself”—It’s Keeping Your Promises

The modern, popular definition of authenticity often revolves around unfiltered self-expression—simply “being who you are” in the moment. Smith argues this has created an “authenticity deficit disorder” in leadership, proposing a more demanding and reliable definition: true authenticity is about follow-through.

This is a critical distinction. Team members don’t need a leader who shares every fleeting emotion; they need a leader whose actions align with their words, especially when it is difficult. As Smith puts it, true leaders “should always keep our word . . . especially when it costs us.” Reliability in the face of sacrifice, not raw expressiveness, is what builds the deep trust necessary for an organization to thrive.

Authenticity is doing what you promise, not “being who you are.”

2.5. To Grow Your Organization Faster, You Must First Slow Down

The idea that you must slow down to speed up is a core leadership paradox. While explosive growth is often celebrated, it is frequently destructive to a company’s culture and cash flow. In contrast, “Sustained, controlled growth is healthier and less disruptive than explosive growth.”

This principle is hard to accept in a culture that prizes rapid expansion. However, the discipline to grow intentionally allows an organization to build strong systems and maintain its culture. The book points to Sonic Drive-In as a company that “has chosen to control and limit their growth… understand[ing] the wisdom of incremental and sustained growth over decades.” This reinforces a powerful truth: “growing a business slower will almost always help you achieve your goals faster.”

2.6. Power, Not Adversity, Is the Ultimate Test of Character

Our culture tends to believe that hardship forges character. While adversity is certainly a test, a far more revealing and difficult one is how a person handles prosperity and power. It is “no small feat not to be crushed under the weight of prosperity and power.”

This is a profound lesson because we instinctively believe that more money and power will make life better and easier. The reality is that “things are usually harder with more money and power, since you are responsible for more.” We elevate power as a goal but rarely consider its corrosive potential. The true measure of a leader is not how they weather a storm, but how they behave when the sun is shining and they hold influence.

Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a man’s character, give him power.

3. Conclusion: Are You Ready to Pay the Price?

The central theme is undeniable: true servant leadership is demanding, uncomfortable, and runs contrary to our most basic instincts for self-gratification. It is a path defined by what you give, not what you get.

This model of leadership is not for everyone, because true happiness doesn’t come from fulfilling our own desires, but from serving others. As you consider your own journey, the ultimate question is not about the rewards you seek, but about the sacrifices you are willing to make. “What will you have to give up in order to do it well? Are you ready to pay that price?”